How to Stop a Child from Whining
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Here are seven steps that you can take to "Stop the Whining!" and get children asking for things in a way that you desire.
Focus on the Child
If you are serious about limiting the whining, you need to stop what you're doing and focus on the child and give them attention. Listen to what they have to say.
Boys will often talk in a very gruff tone, while girls will speak with elevated voice. Encourage them to speak so that they know they are being heard. However you need to help them separate the way they are speaking (their whining) from their request.
Describe to the Child the Correct Way of Asking
Firstly, address the method they are using to ask for things - the whining. You may say something like, "Jacob, you don't need to whine when asking for a biscuit."
Then you demonstrate the way that you want the child to ask for things. For instance, "Excuse me, biscuit please", would suffice.
This will take repetition so as to reinforce the correct technique for asking and is aimed at reducing the whining. You may have to remind the child from time to time about the "magic word" needed when asking for things.
Or you may say "Pardon?" to jolt their thinking - or even stare back at them with raised eyebrows and wait for their response.
Praise the Child for Speaking Nicely
When the child remembers the way to ask for things in a nice manner, praise them! Say, "That was a beautiful way of asking."
This reinforces that they are following the correct method. It is easy to forget that kids take time to learn how to ask for things correctly, however when they don't have to be reminded then this is a time to lavish on them exceptional praise and encouragement.
Is the Child's Request Reasonable
When training children to request things in a nice manner, and they achieve that, then it is recommended that you comply with their request.
Hold it. What if the child is asking for food, and dinner is only five minutes away from being served? If the aim is to stop whining behavior and get the child trained to speak nicely, then give them some food, but in a very small amount. The key is to focus on how the request is formed, whether it is appropriate or not. If so, comply with their request.
What to Do If Whining Continues
Children know instinctively that they can get their way by whining. So if whining continues you will need to go back to the original method that you want them to use for asking for things.
Say again, "Jacob, you don't need to whine when asking for a biscuit." This informs the child of the inappropriate behavior.
Then enforce the desired method of asking for things, "Jacob say, Excuse me mommy, biscuit please".
What to Do If the Child Protests
If the whining behavior continues, you need to describe their undesirable behavior to them calmly, but firmly.
This is the time to take action. Describe what you are doing so that they understand why you are doing it. In relation to the biscuits, you may say, "OK Jacob, if you aren't able to ask nicely then the biscuits go away for ten minutes. Now try again."
You will need to follow through on your action to demonstrate that you mean what you say - else next time the child will know that whining is a way to get what they want, and mommy doesn't really mean to threaten.
What to Do If the Child Becomes Aggressive
Remember to describe the whining behavior, as well as the correct method of asking for things. Then place them in quiet time for 2 minutes. Placing them on a chair or on a mat is ideal for this. Let them out of quiet time once their behavior has quieted down. Then you may want to go over the "nice way" of asking for things before encouraging them to ask again.
If the child is becoming aggressive and refuses to sit in quiet time, then you will need to implement a "time out" strategy. Following the lead of super-nanny, you will need to put them into time out for a short period of time - calculated as 1 minute more than the age of the child. So if the child is 4 years old, then place them in time out for 5 minutes. If the behavior continues, you will need to learn the technique for dealing with temper tantrums.
Remember that by keeping your cool you will be able to demonstrate the desired method of asking for things, and help them to "stop the whining!"
Read more day care articles, day care software reviews, and in-depth comparisons of daycare recordkeeping software at My Day Care Software.
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